Yesterday I came home unwell because of my sore throat so I lay down immediately on our couch, turned on the TV and watched a Basketball game just to make myself feel well. (Yes. Basketball game comforts me. It’s a “Jai” thing. haha) Anyway, It happened that the game is between my alma mater (JRU heavy Bombers) and Lyceum Pirates but unfortunately the Bombers lost. So it made me feel sad.
After the game I switched to another TV station. Then, found out that XFACTOR just started. So I tuned in to it ‘coz I also love to watch reality shows.
Then I watched Britney, LA, Demi and Simon do their work as judges. A lot of aspirants are good and a lot more are not. Until this 19 year old girl named Jillian Jensen shared her story being bullied and made everyone so emotional including me.
I am almost in tears that moment ‘coz I can feel her pain and I can also relate to her. Ughhh. Now, I’m getting emotional again.
I’ve been a victim also. I’ve been bullied for almost 10 years of my life. Since grade school to high school I’ve felt like I was different. They actually made me feel I am different and that I don’t belong to any group. I felt alone, sad, angry and un-appreciated for almost ten years. Others do unlikely things to me like humiliating me in front of many students. They make fun of me because of my dark skin complexion, my kinky hair, my diction (the way I speak) and because I’m not a City Girl. I remember some mean girls at our school (high school) clip a note on my notebook and/or books saying “Mukha kang aso bumalik ka na sa tribo mo!” (You look like a dog. Go back to your tribe!) And “Maligo ka naman para maalis yang libag mo!” (Take a bath to remove the dirt in you!) Ahhh… and many more things that I don’t want to recall.
Those things almost ruined my life and almost take my life. Yes, I even thought of killing myself ‘coz I felt so bad. I am at the deepest and darkest moment in my life when I remember someone who can appreciate me. Someone who can accept me and love me for who I am and that’s because He is my Creator.
I prayed, cried and asked Him for his love and He reminded of His words in 2 Corinthians 12:10 “That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” In my weakness and in times like this only God can give me strength. He reminded me that all I need is Him, that when I need a friend He will be the best friend and in addition He will give me friends here on Earth who will accept me and love me.
Now, I can say that I am not a victim anymore but rather a victor! So if you're being bullied I want you to remember this things:
1. Forgive them
-Forgiving is never an easy thing but it can help you to release those bad feelings. As I am always saying "Forgive not to forget but Forgive and be healed". Just do yourself a favor... forgive! : )
2. Only God can change Bullies
-Pray for them. I know it's hard but God tells us to love our enemies. You cannot change them 'coz they need to deal it with their selves and God. When you pray for them you may not see the change in them immediately but you will notice that you (yes you!) also is changing. God is changing you and making you a lovable and strong person. Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you..." You just need to ask God for that change.
3. Acknowledge that God is walking with you.
- Every moment that I felt so alone and lonely I always remember this verse (a prayer of King David) in Psalms 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Even to the point of death God is with us and we just have to acknowledge His presence and His Lordship among us.
Be with God! Be with your true Friend! Love your Best Friend Jesus!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."